Financially Stable, or Sexually Able?

So I find myself in this situation once again. I am conversing with a good friend, who we shall name 'Will' for this article's sake. It goes a little something like this:

Me: Hey buddy, fancy doing something this evening?

Will: Sorry buddy, I'm going to the cinema with my girlfriend.

Me: Alright, are you free next Tuesday?

Will: Ah, no, I'm afraid not. I'm taking my girlfriend out for dinner.

So, a week passes, and I make the ever-familiar phone call.

Me: Hey Will, wanna go and grab some beers?

Will: Sorry man, I'm skint... Joys of being a student. I'll come out when I have more money.

So this is what niggles me.

STUDENT LIFE, EH?

Now, I warn you, dear readers - this article is not going to be short. I may not get my entire moan out, and for that I apologise. It was at my dear friend's statement that I thought to myself, how much money goes into a relationship? Numbers may not be my 'thing', but I'm going to crunch a couple for you now.

So lets talk about travel first. I do have a friend who used to have a boyfriend in America, but she's an anomaly, so let's just cut that one out. We need to take into account that we need to pay to get places, unless we are:

a) Living with said partner

b) Not bothering to see partner

or

c) Paula Radcliffe

But enough about Paula... let's put ourselves in a hypothetical situation. The 'said partner' lives approximately 20 miles away. This would cost a tenner in petrol for a return trip. Multiply this by the times per week you would see them - let's say you're a loving person. So... three times?

That's £30 per week. Let's times that again by 40, because let's face it, you'll get sick of them.

So in total you get... computing... computing... £1,200?

Now that's a lot of money.

A cinema trip to see a newly-released film, IN THE THIRD DIMENSION (and preferably starring Nicholas Cage).

Being the male in a relationship and being such a wonderful man, you will pay for the tickets. You will also be an absolute charmer and buy popcorn and drinks.

Student (£6.90 x 2) = £13.80

3D (+£1.60 x 2) = £3.20

Drinks/shared popcorn = £6

This will equate to... £23!

Most (nice) boyfriends will do this once every two months as a little treat, which is nice for both parties but still means that, over a year (if the couple are still together, as some may not be due to unforeseen circumstances or people) that the person will spend £138 on cinema trips.

Gees Louise.

Now, I like food as much as the next guy. Who am I kidding? I probably love it more than the little fella' above. Which now leads on nicely to buying food out. To the mega-classy guys like myself, this can vary from the delicious McDonald's to the ever-satisfying KFC. Yet again, a guy forks out double: this could range from anything between £10 - £15 a time (just make sure you use your Student ID for a free cheeseburger). This will occur, on average, twice a month.

If you're a really swell guy then there is always the option of something better. I hear you questioning this statement, and yes, there is somewhere even more upmarket than Burger King. It may be a special occasion, and you may want to celebrate it with something special. So how about a nice meal? Sounds like a brilliant idea. This would cost anything from £20 - £50, so we'll meet in the middle and say £35. This will be done on average twice a year. So that's £70... that's £200 on food! CRIKEY!

So...

Birthdays.

Everyone has one, and guess what? ONCE A YEAR TOO. Most couples will spoil each other rotten on their birthdays, with hundreds of pounds being spent on wonderful gifts. However, we are students and have very limited disposable income; therefore let us limit this budget to £70.

This could buy some nice jewellery, a nice day out, a Lego set, or a dick in a box. When talking about gifts/presents we also need to take into account the other little presents given spontaneously. So we can total this up to £50 for the year too.

How could I forget Christmas? Let's throw another £80 on top for that too. We now have £200 in gifts for the year.

Being an English student, my maths is not my primary concern; however I will now continue to add up the money spent in a year.

Travel - £1,200

Cinema - £138

Food - £200

Presents - £200

Total - £1,738

That is a lot of money.... Think of all the things you could buy!

• A Gibson Explorer - £998 (and still have lots of change).
  

• A Samsung 3D TV - £1,699.

• A second-hand Ford Focus - £1,000.

• 1,738 cheeseburgers.

• 173,800 x 1p sweets

• A holiday to somewhere students go (Spain?)... Priceless.

I think that maybe I can sacrifice the loving life just to have the money.

But can you?

Alex White

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