It has been said that hypocrisy is
great fodder for comedy and I’ve got a massive issue with people who make Facebook
statuses which are so clearly directed at somebody. Said ‘somebody’ will almost
inevitably see it before spending the next week contemplating how passive
aggressive it will be to ‘like’ the status in question.
Today a girl I went to school with
(not too sure I’ve ever actually spoken to her in my life… might delete her off Facebook now…) made such a status which, although I doubt it was, seemed
like it was aimed at little old me. Unfortunately she has now deleted the
status (probably couldn’t cope with the passive aggressive ‘liking’ that ensued) so I
cannot recreate it here with fidelity. Basically it said how people who post Facebook
statuses about being single just look desperate and pathetic.
Ouch.
I spent the next half hour Facebook
stalking myself to see if I was that
girl… Luckily I don’t think that this was me, the only reference towards my
singlepringledom being my verbatim statusing of this hilarious exchange between
my parents:
Mum: "You don't want to end up left on the shelf,
Harriet".
Dad: "She won't be left on the shelf. There's plenty of blind
people."
Nevertheless,
pathetic paranoia has set in…
I never really realised until a few weeks ago, but I self-deprecate like Susan
Boyle on Britain’s Next Top Model.*
My main points of self-deprecation are:
1) My relationship status… case in point: this series of articles.
2) My weight
3) My intelligence, or lack thereof – see, there’s an example right there.
I would count belittlement to be a prevalent personality trait in many Britons. Nevertheless, be it with the intention of humour, attention seeking or out of a genuine sense of self-loathing, at what point does self-deprecation actually just become pathetic?
Now, I have had this article on the go for a good three weeks now and I
haven’t quite got an answer to my question, so I am handing it over to the
wonderful readers of The Pessimist
Chronicles…
What would you prefer in a friend, lover, co-captain, hamster or any other relationship…
self-confidence or self-deprecation? (Sorry, no middle-ground allowed)
self-confidence or self-deprecation? (Sorry, no middle-ground allowed)
Harriet Baker
* That was mean, sorry SuBo L Here’s a picture of an insanely happy fish to make up for it.
Public self deprecation is pathetic. Think about every time you've ever said/heard something about being single or sad or alone and then think of every response you've ever given, or been given. Nobody presses to understand why you feel like that, nobody wants to understand your deeper psychological state of mind; you get a little, "aww that's not true, you're not incapable of finding love," and then you move on with your life knowing that bringing it up didn't change a god damn thing. And that's not the fault of other people, its your fault in the first place for trying to discuss it. If you really want to let it out go find a psychiatrist, or a doctor, or your mother, and keep it away from Facebook and friends.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to the specific question, I don't think you can choose between self-deprecation or self-confidence. Anyone who seeks attention or a response by talking about themselves, their problems or their conquests is no friend of mine.
On reflection, despite it's negative connotations I feel that a little bit of self-deprecation is probably necessary for a balanced personality.
ReplyDeleteYour answer to the specific question has made me think perhaps I shouldn't have constructed such a limited binary between self-confidence and self-deprecation, but I could write an almost identical article about people who self-praise - whether in conversation or on Facebook.
Cockiness is potentially an equally unattractive quality - it is just not unattractive in a pathetic way.
I agree with your comment regarding responses - it is true that bringing things up will not always change a god damn thing. Nevertheless, I reckon it's healthier than keeping feelings bottled up inside, even if it does clog up your newsfeed.
Thank you for reading The Pessimist Chronicles,
Harriet Baker
Harriet mentions the limitations of binaries???? DERRIDA!!!!
ReplyDeleteShaun Beale