At first glances the miserable young man, could be portrayed as 'gentleman', paying homage to my previous articles. But when looking deeper into this image (and by 'deeper', I mean 'taking into account the wonderful caption'), we see that this chivalric male does not seem to be the boyfriend, or 'mating partner for the evening' but is, in fact, SOMETHING MUCH WORSE...
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
A 'friend'.
This term - 'friend' - brings me to the title of this article, 'The Friend Zone and Its Darker Tones'. Now, I am sure you are all aware of the term 'friend zone', but for those still left in the dark by this amalgamation of familiar words, let me enlighten you with a brief definition from the Urban Dictionary:
'Friend Zone - This is the worst position someone can be in, if they have feelings for someone. When a person develops romantic feelings for someone, but the other person only sees the relationship as just being friends. Because the two are around each other a lot, the one in love will harbor his/her feelings for the other, only to become completely consumed by this person. This leads the one in love to complain to all of his/her friends about the situation, and to become "pussy whipped" by the other.'
I think the majority of us can relate somewhat to the above definition, having that one friend who you may want something more with; but I'm sorry readers - they only want you for your services... and not the services you are thinking about, you dirty, dirty reader.
Bummer.
So, 'what can we do if we find ourselves in this zone of friendship?', I hear you ask. Well, you probably didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Here are a few simple steps to help remove you from this closet of emotion.
1) Spooning - You may feel that this is a somewhat forward approach to overcoming this obstacle, but let's face it, the occasional hug when saying 'hello/goodbye' to someone will not result in you going home with the said friend, therefore reinforcing this bastion of friendship. Spooning itself is a positive approach in the right direction - it leads to closeness (created in an increase of physical contact), and alludes to darker undertones. I must also add that these darker undertones are negated by the innocent nature of spooning, therefore abolishing all traces of negative connotations... so you're going to be okay.
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| ... which is always a good thing. |
2) Talking - If the subtle, 'rapey' persona isn't working for you, then I suppose talking could help. On the other hand, it could make things much, much worse... but kudos for trying!Worst case scenario: you express how you feel and he/she freaks out and, five minutes later, you've lost a good friend. So it's not all bad! Maybe expressing your true feelings may aid the predicament you are stuck in - who knows, they may be feeling the same and are waiting for you to make the first move. But nine times out of ten that is not the case. They hang around with you as you make them feel better about themselves. On a more serious note, talking results in a clearer mind, as it takes the weight off the entire situation, everything is up in the air, and there is nothing else you can do other than let fate work its magic. As mentioned earlier, kudos for trying!
3) Subtle hinting - This should probably be number one, but it is rather time-consuming and if you're looking for a quick fix, this may not be the ideal route to take. It does however prove to be a worthwhile approach if you are serious and devoted. It may also prove to be a laugh too!
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| One thing I must point out: You must NOT be this obvious... I SAID 'SUBTLE', GUYS! |
There are many ways in which you can make subtle moves, whether this is due to you increasing your physical contact with the person in question, or maybe even slowly planning out the rest of your life with them. All these ideas will slowly imprint and ingrain on the recipient's brain. It may sound creepy, but you could even mentally condition your best friend to love you...
Conclusion - I think the above points could prove to be helpful when taken into consideration, but I need a closing statement in order to seal the deal and bring this article to a close.
DON'T GO THERE.
I like to think of a friend as a comfortable item of clothing, whether that is:
- Trackie bottoms
- Shoes
- Hoodie
- T-Shirt
You like to do everything with your favourite trackie bottoms, go everywhere with your favourite trackie bottoms, show off your new trackie bottoms to everyone; but when it comes down to the crunch (if you can even call it 'the crunch'), do you really want to badoinkadoink* your favourite item of clothing?
No you do not.
For those who do not heed my warning, I will close with this final picture.
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| This could be you** |
Alex White
* Badoinkadoink - It means exactly what you think it means - courtesy of Kat Darlington
** You - Can relate to both male and females...
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